A lesson from my kindergarten classroom that every adult needs to hear.

It was just a regular day in PE. Nothing fancy—just a bunch of hoops scattered across the ground outside and a group of five-year-olds with one simple task: jump into a hoop.

Easy enough, right?

Well, two of my students had their eyes on the same hoop. They both went for it, but only one of them landed inside. The other had to step out. And he was not happy about it.

He marched himself right over to the bench, arms crossed, face scrunched up in that way only a kindergartner can pull off. He was done. No more PE. No more hoops. No more fun. He was angry, and he wanted the world to know it.

So I sat down next to him.

"Why are you angry?" I asked.

"He took my hoop."

"But there are so many hoops out there," I said, gesturing toward the ground full of them.

"But I wanted that hoop."

I paused and looked at him. "Okay. So now you're angry."

"Yes. I'm angry."

"It's okay to be angry," I told him. "But I want you to look at something. You're over here on this bench, angry. And he's over there, jumping through hoops, having the time of his life. He's already forgotten about it. But you? You're sitting here, not playing, not having fun. You're the only one this anger is hurting."

I let that sit for a moment. Then I got up and walked away.

A couple of minutes later, I looked over and there he was—back out there, jumping through hoops, laughing like nothing had ever happened. Just like that. Kids are remarkably resilient. They feel their feelings, and then they let them go.

Here's the thing, though.

Adults? We're not always so good at that.

We hold onto anger like it's something precious. Someone cuts us off in traffic, disrespects us at work, says something thoughtless—and we carry it. We replay it in our minds. We let it build. We let it fester.

And the person who made us angry? Half the time, they don't even know. They've moved on. They're out there jumping through hoops while we sit on the bench, stewing.

That anger doesn't punish them. It punishes us. It clouds our thinking. It robs us of experiences. It's not good for our hearts, our minds, or our bodies. We sit on that bench, missing out on life, convinced that our anger is justified—and maybe it is. But justified or not, it's still only hurting one person.

You.

So here's what I want to leave you with:

It's okay to be angry. Anger is a real, valid emotion, and you're allowed to feel it. Feel it fully. But feel it briefly. Acknowledge it, understand it, and then let it go.

Because life is full of hoops. And you deserve to be out there jumping.

Who are you holding anger toward today? And is it worth the bench?